Here I am, at the cusp of 39 weeks, almost not believing how fast the past 9 months has seemed to flown by. The past two weeks have been full of impatience on my part and I am very eager to go into labor.
Everyone says that the last month of pregnancy is the hardest. I'm actually not sure that's true for me yet, but the waiting has been killing me. Back in August, I determined that I would deliver early and willed myself to produce a February baby. Obviously, my plan did not work out as it is March and I am still very pregnant. The weekend of my Mom's birthday came and went, with no Jo. I don't know why I set myself up for such impatience early. I've really been trying to get over that this week. I started having noticeable contractions two Fridays ago, with 3 instances of 8-10 minute intervals for over an hour. I'm starting to get used to it now and not work myself up each time.
The (good) anxiety in Drew and me has been rearing its head in interesting ways. My urge to nest is RIDICULOUS, but at the same time, I try to avoid feeling overwhelmed by getting out of the house. I wake up every 2 hours or so at night to go to the bathroom and start the tiring process of turning over in bed. Each time, though, I wake up thinking to myself, "Am I in pain? Did my water break? Why am I awake?!" I can't help it.
Drew, on the other hand, has been telling me more that Jolie crosses his mind more frequently during the day. At night, he is not sleeping well and hasn't been realizing it. He is a stomach/side sleeper usually and has been sleeping on his back for the past week. He's been talking in his sleep a lot to me and says things like, "It's okay! I'll fix it!" spiritedly. He wakes up at my smallest whisper, which is super odd as normally I have to shake him. I think he's just subconsciously waiting for me to wake him up and say it's time. Poor guy.
The few times I do get to actually sleep, I dream about labor and Jolie and real life things. Sometimes, I wake up feeling disappointed that it didn't actually happen. I seriously cannot wait.
My mom threw me a wonderful shower a few weeks ago and I was so blessed by all the love and generousity. I'm pretty sure we've spent more money this month than we have in a good year and I've loved putting all of Jolie's pretty little (pink) things away. Thank you to all who came to the shower and have blessed me with advice and gifts.
I have really wanted to spend a lot of time with my mom over the last month. Not that I don't normally, but I really want to be around her most of the time now, even to just sit around. She came with me to my last 2 ultrasounds and it's been so nice to talk about babies and motherhood.
Mom pulled out the only newborn picture she has of me yesterday so we could compare it to Jolie's little face from the 3D ultrasound. The resemblance is uncanny. The only difference is her lips, which belong completely to Drew, but the rest of her is me. I try to tell Drew that no one really understands what it's like for me to finally have family that looks like me. I don't know anyone in the world that I look like. To most people it's not even a second thought to hear "You have your mother's nose" or "You did that just like your dad!". I've never gotten that! I can't wait to hear "Jolie looks just like you" or "You're going to look just like your mom". It's very exciting for me. I know the chances of having a girl/boy are 50/50, but I don't think my first child being a girl is a coincidence.
I get so excited and lost in hanging her little clothes and washing her things, sometimes I forget that we're actually having a BABY. Like, a child. Our friends Danny & Andrew just had their baby, Malakai, last week and by random circumstances, Drew and I were able to visit them just hours after birth. I got to hold sweet Kai for our entire visit and it was just intoxicating. And he wasn't even mine. Danny told me she couldn't stop crying when she looked at him. It was a wonderful visit. :) I'm so ready for that experience!
Hopefully I'll get a chance to take one last pregnancy picture and I'll post it. We are continually appreciative of all the generousity, love and prayers that are physically FELT. Let's go, baby, let's go.