I remember a time when I didn't know how pregnancy tests worked. I knew they had lines and that women used them in the bathroom. That was it. Today, I am very familiar with pregnancy tests. Over the past year and half, I have opened numerous boxes, torn the labels, peed in cups, tried not to pee on myself and waited. Do you know how long 3 minutes can be? Each time (most occuring at 2 or 3 am), I watched the control line appear and...the other window stay white. I would check it a couple more times before going back to bed, just in case. Always white. And I never was sure how I felt about it.
Today, that all changed. I saw the result and knew how I felt. 6am, 2 blue lines. A little bit of a freak out, then into the bedroom to wake up Drew. The line was very faint, but there. I tried going back to sleep, to no avail. I've been up since 6.
When 8am finally rolled around, I began calling Renata, who didn't answer. I decided to take another test, just to be sure. As I suspected, a darker blue line! I got in the car, went to Renata's, where we both freaked out enough to make Jack cry.
Now, I'm excited and trying not to get ahead of myself. I know a lot of miscarriages happen early on. And I am scared. And trying not to be. I'm trying not to be excited or scared. A little confusing.