June 30, 2009

The day has come...

I remember a time when I didn't know how pregnancy tests worked.  I knew they had lines and that women used them in the bathroom.  That was it.  Today, I am very familiar with pregnancy tests.  Over the past year and half, I have opened numerous boxes, torn the labels, peed in cups, tried not to pee on myself and waited.  Do you know how long 3 minutes can be?  Each time (most occuring at 2 or 3 am), I watched the control line appear and...the other window stay white.  I would check it a couple more times before going back to bed, just in case.  Always white.  And I never was sure how I felt about it.

Today, that all changed.  I saw the result and knew how I felt.  6am, 2 blue lines.  A little bit of a freak out, then into the bedroom to wake up Drew.  The line was very faint, but there.  I tried going back to sleep, to no avail.  I've been up since 6.  

When 8am finally rolled around, I began calling Renata, who didn't answer.  I decided to take another test, just to be sure.  As I suspected, a darker blue line!  I got in the car, went to Renata's, where we both freaked out enough to make Jack cry.  

Now, I'm excited and trying not to get ahead of myself.  I know a lot of miscarriages happen early on.  And I am scared.  And trying not to be.  I'm trying not to be excited or scared.  A little confusing.

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