June 16, 2009

Timing shmiming

I wasn't expecting more timing issues as far as when to have babies.  I figured we would choose to start and just go for it.  We're still not quite out of the woods yet. :)

There are several things that we've been wrestling with as far as good timing.  I know God holds it in his hand.  However, we want to be prepared, seek the right time and make the best decision we can.  A few things are riding on future baby Ack.

1. Wedding season.  Photography is very seasonal.  We work our butts off April-October, then sit around January-March.  Knowing this, we figured the best time to have a baby would be in the winter, giving me enough time to recover and get pumped for wedding season.  We, however, missed this window of conception, having not made a definite decision yet.  We have already booked weddings in April and May in 2010, so March would be the last opportunity to deliver and have enough time to recuperate.  Delivering in March means being pregnant in June, which is now.

2. India.  Our hearts have longed been stirred by India.  In fact, we should credit India with bringing us together in the first place.  And now, we have the opportunity to go, serve and bring it back.  We were asked to be a part of the missions team at church a few months ago and the team has since met, decided on India and are in the planning stages of a trip in late 2010.  God has been faithful in planting those seeds in us and is allowing us to see fruit.  It's pretty cool.  But we either have to have the baby before leaving, allowing enough time to wean to formula or wait until after India to conceive.  I SO don't want to be pregnant while there, and I'm not even sure I could go if I was.  

Those two things leave a very small time window.  It's get pregnant NOW.  This month.  Getting pregnant this month would be ideal; enough time to get back on my feet before wedding season starts and far enough away from the India trip.  My biggest concern now is, of course, if I don't get pregnant this month.  We will sacrifice something, whether we keep trying or wait. 

Honestly, I never want to be the kind of person who puts career before family.  Ever.  And neither does Drew.  India is also something extremely important to me and I want to make every effort to go.  

I told Renata this morning to pray that it happens this month. :)  I'm praying for that, too.  But I'm really trying to trust.  And that's hard.

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